Rough Day Thursday

I'm doing ok. I called my mommy. Thank you mom. It's always this innate thing isn't it? What a lucky girl I am to have my mum. :)
So been struggling like I think many of you have heard from my knee comlications and insurance and doctor stuff along with uncertainty of what to do for outreach or those visions/dreams I have that don't quite go so well along with my outreach criteria. However, I'm leaving it to God as I can only do, and pray for peace. I need some resolution to move forward with those around me. Especially my outreach DTS team here in SA.
So I had a pretty good morning, as in the fact that I went walking in the am with Justine my SA outreach team leader. I had revealed not planned, all on my heart and problems with knee, doctors, and then these visions and dreams I've had that haven't left me so wanting to get my leader Paul to see them as I've emailed the quick blurb of them. Just to get some more prayer and clarification of how God wants to use me.
It was good to hear from her in that she said, now that makes more sense why you have seemed and felt reserved and not fully in on this team. I said I totally understand because I'm not. It's hard to put my heart into it right now when I don't feel I can. I never want to commit especially to those close if I can't promise I can. So I have waited to hear from the Lord. She began to see where I was coming from and prayed for me the rest of the steep hill walk back, in that panting breath, it was a moment with God with the beautiful sunrise.
Then I entered the class in the morning ready to class intercession and paul came up to me having received my email late last night, and it was such a breath of fresh air to hear him say that I want to fully read through these great things, you're such a visionary and apostolic person, (apostle?) I'm learning :) but yeah he went on to say that we need to work with you and what you can do and in what God's telling you. He said I have a track record to prove that I am capable of things, so to hear this positive feeback from Paul without even much prayer into it, made me more at ease in that's all I could do from this point on was wait on God to direct me with my leadership on board.
Intercession was great! We prayed for South Sudan. It was on Brian our leader who's taking the Kenya team, and he taught us much more about what is and has been going on. I remember being really interested in this country because of all I heard about in Darfur a few years back. We prayed hard and heard so much and saw so much even scripture to give this country hope for a change with God behind them breaking through those strongholds! Man it was felt and powerful! Thank you Lord for using me and US as a team for you as a vessel!
Then we went into class talking about gifts and ourselves as we learn about Destiny by Design. We were given a piece of playdough to go away for 20 minutes to ask God how he sees us? What he created us to be?
I kept feeling, especially after the past week of these ideas and visions, which aren't the first time, and my passion included in loving to help others see ideas and dreams and in a new way that gets them thinking and inspired. So I formed a lightbulb. I felt that was the most fitting to represent who I am that God created me to be. I loved the veggie tale clip we also watched on understanding the uniqueness that God has made us with these gifts and talents. What a great topic this week!
Then I have team meeting, went alright just going over team covenant, details on where we're thinking the final commitments of locations are going to be.
I went to my one on one with Elaine. Turns out we both needed to go to the grocery store, so we chatted along the way to Pack and Pay. Got some money out to finish paying off my outreach fees, and a bit of food then wanted to get a SIM card to see if I can get my phone on, but they needed ID.
Came back, went to PEP to get SIM card, and the system wouldn't accept my driver's license, so she said I needed to come back the next day with passport. I was frustrated, but turns out there was a reason I didn't have my passport, it gets clearer...
I then went to the pool to do my swim, and while I'm there with no one else but Grace and the gate closed, she gets out after about 45 minutes, and our bags are gone! I mean if you saw this place you'd think there's no possible way we'd not see someone take our stuff!
Grace runs outside and there's our clothes in the trash but no bags. OH man what furiation I had. Grace luckily had nothing but her bag taken, but inside MY bag, was my Ipod, phone, SIM card I had just bought, Driver's License to get my SIM, and over 100 or 200 Rand. Oh and my great bag from REI that I carried everything everywhere!!! Man I was mad.
Just stuff yes, but that put me a bit over and I just wanted to get away. We had base worship and all I could do to keep from crying is to say, I'm sorry guys I need to call my mom.
So, I'm sorry I have had those things stolen from me and the money that's not necessarily mine to claim, but those who provide for me. I'm so mad and yet I've prayed that God will give me the grace to forgive them as He forgives me, and that he would forgive them too and yet show them who He is and that He is a God of Love and Justice.
Anyways, life will be ok. God is bigger than everything! I love you all, and thank you for feedback and prayers, I love you

ps
Go Beavers