Thursday Morning

I just got back from an amazing morning walk! Sun rises now at like 5:30, so I just pop up! Juice, Justine and I all have been pretty motivated. I sit in the kitchen dinning area eating some banana and peanut butter, and since I was late for breakfast like always, I have heated up some frozen veggies in a bowl. Pretty typical :)
I just want to sorta get what is on my mind out. I was listening to a sermon on my i pod this morning from Mars Hill about habikuk. I think I wrote on this before, but it just reiterated to me such an importance to me.
Yes even when things are going great, or things are completely falling apart and chaotic, God remains the same. He's always there loving and just. This time around though, I was reminded how in all we do, if we don't make Jesus our life mission, then we will always be hurt. Always be let down. If I desire to be wealthy, then when I lack money or lose my job, I will be sad. If I want to be a professional athlete and I don't make it, I will tribute my sorrow to my failure and let that effect my life. If I want to find happiness in studying and gaining a piece of paper for future job or acceptance, then even IF I do, what about after? And what if no one really cares. Or better yet, what if I don't use that piece of paper to get the job I really love to do? Would I say I wasted my time?
If my focus is to love the Lord and love others then my life focus will never change. I shouldn't have to waver because 'He' wasn't there or didn't come through.
I am always trying an trying (works as the Lord cals it) to do this well or that or succeed here, or show my church and friends that I am making a difference, I'm changing the people around me and the world in a positive way. But what if I don't? What if I let them down? Then I have focused to live for them. Seems like a no brainer, but do we really live this way?
Yesterday we sat in our room for our prayer/intercession time, to really focus as a collective group, getting a clear mind and heart to let the Holy Spirit fill our room and our hearts to speak and to hear him. We were asking God to help us with our lofty number of finances. We, on the board, had over 200,000 rand that we need to send ourselves on our trips.
The 2 leaders had to remind us that it's not about the finances. Bills don't go with us to heave, coins stay here in this earthly world. God can and will provide for our every needs. But, sometimes we think he's not helping provide, when really there's things we need to do or repent of that could be hindering 'us' from seeing a blessing.
For instance, some had some confessions that they either held back before or had forgotten about that they wanted to confess outloud to the group, or to some individuals. Like I wanted ot tell the grout I lied about this, or I owe the school still 50 rand, or better yet, one couple said they had a certain amount of money set aside for other needs they wanted to pay for later, and they felt God saying, will you give that up? Will you have faith that I will provide? So they put that amount into the pot.
One of the coolest, was, one of the teamates felt God this morning saying, you need to give someone this amount. He didn't think it was from God so he siad he refrained for awhile, then in the prayer, reading scripture, and few confessions, he went to his room, got the amoutn and gave it to whoever he felt was needing it. AFter he gave that amount, the Thailand team's balance went to 0! Can you believe it? One of the largest expensive trips is already all paid for!
As a result, in 1 hour, we saw 70 rand come in! That's over 10,000 american! God is so good. Not because of the money, but unity that came through this and is still happening. The restoration of people getting rid of some guilt or heaviness inside them, that once they had confessed and especially heard "I forgive you" from others, made the whole morning just a major GROWTH in our team and with our relationship with God. Trust and faith is building more than ever!