Break through in our worship this morning!

God was in the house speaking! He's speaking to me and to the team, and more than that to even my brother Kale I felt. This message we never 'get'
WE, I, can't believe that I am worthy. I never feel it's I who is good enough. I'm so stupid to be saying and thinking lately that God is 'teaching' me something by having this knee injury. This is rediculous. God is nothing but good and great. There are sin and sicknesses and death along with evil in this world because of the 'fall of man' when Eve ate from the tree. Right from that point, sin came into the world. It's not of God. How can I take pain and sadness from this as something God has put, like a curse on me? He's bigger and greater than that. I need to quit associating this pain and strife with something I'm doing wrong. That I'm bad. God loves me today, yesterday and tomorrow. I believe in Him. He has given me love, grace, and mercy for that. He gives you this too. Soak in his unconditional love, that brings us back to his heart.
I had this vision in my tears and prayers today of God holding my red, soft pumping heart, and he is grinning so brightly, and leans in to kiss my heart. He's so gentle and cares. He does know the number of hairs on my head!
We were all praying together in worship as our DTS team, and were asked for the first time to pray for God to speak to us. To ask us what was on our hearts from Him. Words, visions, scripture. A few read out, Isaiah 6:1, Ephesians 2:19-22 and Exodus 14:13. When I turned to these I just lost it.
What I first read was Isaiah. I was talking online late last night to Kale and another friend about how to be a Christian, and how we feel uncomfortable around others. Don't feel we belong, don't know how to act, sometimes it even makes us just wanna retreat and not speak with any. You get frustrated their not living like God desires, or we're not looking at them how God would, or we don't know how to act to them or even be witty because of this life we now know with God. I told Kale that the Bible talks about us as not fitting realy anywhere. He calls those who aren't deserving or wierd in others views. He calls the lowly. WE must ask the Holy Spirit to be with us when we don't know how to 'be' in this world. I do this all the time. Don't feel I fit. Get annoyed with some, or I feel I'm too boring to be around this group or that person.
Isaiah's Commision
I'll just write the part that says it to me,
"Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty."
It continues on how we have been even touched on our lips by holiness, worthy!
"Then I heard teh voice of teh Lord saying, 'Whom shal I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I, Send me!' He said, 'God and tell this people.'
'Be ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving.' Make the heart of this peopel calloused; make their ears dull and close their eyes. Otherwise they might wsee with their hearts, and turn and be healed.' Then I said "for how long, Lord?' and he answered: 'Until the cities lie ruined and without in habitant, until the houses are left deserted and teh fields ruined and ravaged, until the Lord has sent everyone far away and the land is utterly forsaken. And though a tenth remains in the land, it will again be laid waste. But as the terebinth and oak leave stumps when they are cut down so the holy seed will be the stump in the land.'"
I'm asking how I can serve the Lord now. I say here I am Lord, make me save the world. And he's saying live in this world Noel. Even this sad world of upside down townships and need after need. God has the power, He knows, He can do all HE DOES ALL! Just be willing to say, yes Lord, here I am. But it doesn' tmean it's all on my shoulders. I don't need to feel that I have the control and answers to give. I, We may not understand why others think or act this or that way, but that isn't the question to ask, it's the Love and the way I live my life that should be the base to change them. LOVE THEM. It's not for us to KNOW. I'm looking for tangible things like timelines and immediate pains to deal with. That's not wisdom. Not in His Kingdom.
We just need to be like oak stumps. I remember this in Mississippi clearly. Towns completely washed away. The only thing remaining were oaks. Oaks of righteousness are what we are to be like in this World.
Ephesians 219-22
"Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God's people and also members of his household, built on the foundation of teh apostles and prophets with Christ Jesus himself as the cheif cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his spirit."
I know that's for us. Reiterating that we are now in a new life. We have died to ourselves in 'this' world. We now are in His world. He is the cheif cornerstone. He's captain of our new crazy world, that not even we can grasp what it is, but know that we have a structure, that needs ALL our parts. If he created me and knows the number of wrinkles on my body, then I'm here for a clear purpose. I'm as important and the one next to me. No matter how different. It should even show the beauty and creativeness of Him who created, the different ones around. Love.
My team needs to see this and know we all have parts to pick up. If we get sluggish and feel we have nothing to contribute, it hurts. We all sense it. I have been this way a bit, and am trying to just remember to love myself, the one he created, love others, and love HIM. It's not hard. We have lies telling ourselves we're not as good. Good enough. We're His temple, it needs all the parts or it's not going to function as strongly.
For me, if He knows the way, then believe that it's his will. I have no clue why I'im here right now at this time, but I am. I can't just quit this team because of a time limit for the World Cup. To others who don't understand God, don't understand the issue with time or the issue (s) with money. Where does it come from? God knows. If we, I, keep my eyes on Him, the answers will come. But it's faith in what I cannot see.
This all tied amazingly into the last verse, get this! How exciting how I even read them in this order.
Exodus 14:13
"The Lord will fight for you; you need to be still." COMPLETELY ME! God you know my needs. You know my desires. You know what you want from me. You created me. Why am I playing doctor? I need to stop worrying!!! We need to just give the questions, thoughts, feelings, problems to Him and know whether sick or not, God is still there and Good. Give Him praises, always.
Thank you Father