While it's still almost fresh in my mind, which it was so much more powerful last night (I relayed a bit to Kale on the phone) was from our base worship last night.
Every Thursday we have base worship at 6:30 and I didn't know what to expect since the past few had a bit of speakers from outside our base. This speaker tonight was James the american from the SBS class. He has taught a few of our Bible study nights already on MOndays to get us a taste of studying the Bible how they teach it, and he has captured me. I love the way he teaches and I don't know if it's because he's American and we have the same lingo, lilts, passion, who knows, but I really hear the message God's conveying through him. Last night was on 2 Corinthians and a what it is to be a great leader.
James started out by having everyone turn to the person next to us, and asking what are the characteristics of a great leader? Then we turned and asked, what are teh characteristics of a great Christian leader? Many were very similar.
Now I don't remember the sermon by heart, but the concept and message to me hit me so hard, I have to go back and study it.
2 Cor. 2:13 "But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ's triumphal procession, and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are to God teh pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? Unlike so many, we do not pedle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God. Are we beginning to commend outselves again? Or do we need, like some people, letters of reommendation to you or from you? You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, writen not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Now that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competened as ministers of a new covenant-not of the letter but of the spirit; for teh letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
Now whether you think this is going to be long, I don't care. It's not necessarily others, but perhaps it is, and if it is, then you'll cling like I have.
Now I feel Paul is speaking in a sense like I feel back to people as a 'missionary'. I don't at all feel I am one. But like I do say, we ALL are missionaries in our lives. Whatever course we are on, we should be missionaries in all to all! But, I feel with this bit funds, money has a heavy power on it, that I need to shake off better. It's so humbling and hard to ask and to accept. Then to feel like there needs to be fruits from those bills, that were forked out. I just pray, that wherever the money came from, it's given like the way I should give and we all should give, as God gives. Unconditionally. We don't deserve. He gives whether we do good or bad, God wants to just show his love NO MATTER WHAT!
So I feel I've learned so much from this GREAT leader Paul, who actually boasts, not in his leadership, but in his terribly leadership...
Paul in 2 Corinthians 10, talks about his leadership. He says he is Timid when he is actually face to face with his fellow church. BUT, when he's not there and writing, he's so so BOLD! He asks that when he does return and faces them all face to face, in his human body, that he can be in their presence without the pressures of being as bold as he seemed, across the vast space and time.
2 Corinthians 10:8 "So even it I boast somewhat freely about the authority the Lord gave us for building you up rather than tearing you down, I will nto be ashamed of it. I do not want to seem to be trying to frighten you with my letters. For some say, 'His letters are weighty and forceful, but in person he is unimpressive and his speaking amounts to nothing.' Such people should realize that what are are in our letters when we are absent, we wil be in our actions when we are present."
I so don't feel like a leader. I fear as others fear to do evangelism. To see a stranger on the street or shopping center, and feel the desire to act out in boldness to see how they are. See if they know God, and see if they want me to pray with them. I want that. I tell others to want that and try to do that because we need to save people for His Kingdom right? But I'm not bold. I'm not doing as I say or 'write.' I felt bad today when I didn't make my local outreach, which no one did it fell through because of people scrambling to get to banks to pay their outreaches, but still, I felt guilty that i'm not out there doing grunt work right now.
James the speaker, talked about how he has been in missions for over 12 years. He IS a great speaker so I completely believe him when he says that he has been to numerous countries, villages, and preached and had many fall down and ask the Lord into their hearts. He saved so many wherever he went, and his supporters would just soak up his 'news letters' and all the good he was pumping out of his ministry, so he had never ending funds to do ministry and travel and more and more. James says he just had so much PRIDE in his work.
James said it wasn't until he was married a year ago, that his pride caught up to him. He got married and the Lord asked him and his wife to settle here for awhile and teach SBS. James all of a sudden was teaching, 1 book, of the Bible to the same class, different weeks. Very boring, and he said it especially made for dull news letters to send back home. James felt he lost his 'power'. James said that he felt that if God took his ability to speak away, he'd be completely gone and failure. He'd crash. While getting married he even felt like more of a failure because he had found his pride was being knocked and the greatness he was addicted to, was being opened up and she was seeing it and James felt he could no longer live up to these high standards he'd put in his 'news letters'.
Gosh darn i lost internet last night, wrote this long long blog, and this was all that was saved. im sorry! i had such beauty i found in the scripture. perhaps another time, busy now but pplease read about Paul for the next few chapter of 2 corinthians!
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