OH easter weekend

SA has holidays for everything. OF course Good Friday is a must, however they have MOnday off as well for "family day". Yes come on America let's get creative as well. I remember NZ having so many holidays for no reason at all. Not bad for the warm cultures I suppose. Keeps me in this state of numbness of wanting to 'accomplish' tasks, yet just enjoying my time and people around.
I hate though, that I'm stuck out here. I don't have the luxury of hoping into the car and going wherever I desire. I can't hope on train not sure of my ride home in case it's too late to catch a train, or past dark, or no one to go with. TRuly it's an incredible country, but yes the transportation combined with safety precautions doesn't give Noel the freedom Noel desires. Hard trade.
I've been just feening to get outta Muizenberg for sometime. Finally last night my dear Empire Cafe owner Dave took me out to Kalk Bay just for a bit. ALways nice to dress up and enjoy a few hours out. I appreciated it and holy cow, that moonrise, it's breathtaking. This is a restaurant/club that is literally on the rocks, they open the huge windows and the waves are crashing right there. The sea kelp is glowing and it's just crazy! Then the moon over the calm warm night, was perfect. A camera wouldn't have even done it justice.
I just finished watching Man U and Chelsea at the few local shops here in Muiz. Not bad, still I hvae this anxiety, like I had yesterday of desiring to go, or do, or be with someone somewhere. I have no idea where, but it brings back memories of when I was younger and I just sat in my lil town just always thinking, what's going on out there in this world that I'm missing out on. Not proud of the thought, however it is still there. Knocking on my door.
So, back here at base, checking in on things. I have Kim's old phone with same # so back connected with the real world a bit. Still, I wondering what's happening ou there. There's a huge race today called 2 oceans, and so Martin's friends and my friend Justin ran in that. THere should be some celebrations after. Justin may even go camping and invited me.
I'm frustrated a lil because I started like I said, kicking the ball a bit, juggling, running, etc. ALL was well, til yesterday after I ran boyes drive, came home, kicked in the back deck a bit, then got ready to go out, my same knee was hurting. This twinge I can feel. IT's the similar feeling that haunted me for so long. NO WAY is this possible. Why now? Why didn't i feel it a month ago when I ran a bit and did some stairs? I was going to play soccer with the guys this morning, however I am fearing that my anger will come and make me break out in tears to realize it's true: it's my miniscus. Really pray it's not, however I'm feeling it out.
Even though I have insurance here, if they don't cover an MRI, I'm certain they won't cover surgery. This puts me in a very interesting state. I'm trying to not thinka bout too much right now. Going to run on the beach in a bit to feel it out.
Ah!
So, yeah, strange feeling being here on Easter and not feeling like easter. I would love ot have my freedom to just roam. Go out and meet people, chat, go to festivals, whatever! Suzie had brunch for Daneeka and I yesterday, and afterwards I was just anxious and she had so many things on her plate moving here, but still so many without a permanent housing for awhile, visa issues, 'staff' or not for YWAM and figuring that out, I know she has more on her plate than I should be complaining about. So she reminded me, let's pray. I said I wasnt' even sure what to pray about except that I was feeling indifferent to life.
AFterwards, of course, God allowed me to chill a bit. Thank you father.
I'm sure there's much more to get into, but that should be good for awhile. I miss you my family and friends. I really do. I don't know if I'm making a difference, but I know that YOU ALL have the capabilities and personalities to do so. Just the desire is a seed that can be watered. Dad, I'm so glad you love and have forever stuck through wtih teaching and the many opportunities you get. You really put your passion into it, and it's reflective.
Mom, know that you are so loved! People draw to you and just love everything you do and the spirit you possess. In an office setting at the moment, sieze the day. Yes, like a Marine, take those lil opportunities to be a light. You have it, and you do it, and even when things are tough and you aren't appreciated, look up. He sees it. Your heart is gold. I miss feeling it so close.
Kale, well I dont' even have ot elaborate. You're just a genius. 'The Professor' whom I have always dearly looked up to. I'll never forget the day we were in your room as kids just standing there in our sweat pants, and you said let's just pee right here. I know this is rediculous, but I peed my pants right there next to you because you peed your pants right there. No clue what mom did after that because I'm sure she never got it, but I followed. I will always follow and that's what has helped drive me to be better in this world. Grap hold of that humbling magic!
Oh and by the way, thank you for dating Terin and having Addie to hold mom and dad over with a grandchild for awhile ;) Can't wait to spend time with ya'll.
Love you!