Monday eve, 1st day of DTS debrief

So with the team back, I sat in on stories this morning. First of course we had intercession then we broke up and the base is loaded with people! DANG! Yes our DTS we worshipped together last night with the new DTS and then now we got together our old team, and shared stories of outreach. I laughed so dang hard! It was a bit of jealousy to hear about Kenya, Thailand, Swaziland, and India with their inner secrets and jokes. However, I do have my own unique path and it's been amazing so far. I've been stretched like none other that's for sure, and I haven't even hit ground I feel.
I won't lie that it feels super frustrating to see projects move next to me, and mine not move, and then to have people who are looking on say, why don' tyou just partner with someone doing something already or something similar. I DO want to partner and not reinvent the wheel, but abstain2010 has it's own originality in it that I have to keep reminding myself, is it's not just showing the justice and knowledge of human trafficking, HIV and all that. No, it's more. It's trying to realign God's Kingdom. yes it's going back to the significance and perfection of abstaining from sex outside of marriage. That value. That beauty. That hard efforts but are so worth it and valuabel in the end. We MUST bring this back and teach it.
If it gets watered down in my new message of being 1 of 3 ways to 'help' the world, then I'm not ok with it. I have to remember and not throw the abstain from pre marital sex, because that's what sets us apart to pursue. That's the reason this all began. It's great to help fund for a 'safe house' and tell more people, but the way we live our lives, and walk out our value, is so deep and more of a solution than patching up a hole in the wall that's leaking.
This is my desire and this is what I tend to forget from day to day.
I also have ot remember miracles. Times is NOT on my side and I never chose to do this project later because it was my choice...no it came about. So here I am.
However there was a miracle we prayed for this morning. The house next to our base we have been desiring I guess for years. Wel it's up for a bid and I guess Edwin put down some figure that was half the actual value, and for some crazy reason, out of a waiting list, the realters said that YWAM won the bid, and so we all prayed in intercession today for God to supply the funds. It was already a miracle in itself on how it happened so it MUST be God who will fulfill this. Incredible!
That's how I must see this campaign and work. It's the passion and vision I was put in my heart. Now whether it gets accomplished fully or not is not I think the main focus. However, it's what I'm focused on. shoot for the stars right? BUT, I fail to remember God CAN do anything. So I sit here with reaffirming the documents with GWC after morning debrief and I just think, oh is a video even worth it anymore? Is this or that worth the time with the limit we're on? I hate the pessimism but I also want SOME success and damage to be done. Oh Lord please give discernment and also more than anything, FULL FAITH. I guess I have to hear it from you to believe it's what should be, but I guess in walking out this faith of going towards a campaign for prevention and awareness with abstinence at it's core, then I feel that I MUST be going towards something you've burned in me for a reason. The fruits are there, have been there, but still not thriving yet. I look to Justice Acts and want to just say, ok I have tried, but now where can i drop campaign and just do something to help you, when really, I am already trying ot support I think with abstain, but also in a wider spectrum. Is this right? I must fight the spiritual battle right? Is this my battle? Is there even a battle? I want to help in so many ways, but I fear so often my 'visions' and 'ideas' are just sooo big and when they're not done, I get totally discouraged. I want and see this or that happening and in this or that way. LIke in NZ, I saw this pro team forming alongside this academy and 'coaches' from the girls who are role models for the new young girls. This GREAT development, but I am not there now and not creating a pro league. I preached about it for ages, but the results aren't FULLY there. There's seeds, but not the top notch. It's a bit frustrating.
Not sure where I'm going with all of this, ranting for sure.
It was hard to think of stories to tell today, because I felt like so much were just individual times and things that happened with God and I. I tried to share a bit. OH I almost forgot, Kenny has asked to help full time too! SO after this week I have Kenny and Daneeka helping Cristian and I! Yes, oh I hope I'm more organized for this!
Tomorrow meeting with 'mix it' man and then GWC again for getting paper finalized. I also am to meet with DTS team for more debrief.
Lord please be doing the work, not I.