Lecture on Sex

I'll try to capture bits of the great talk.
Song of Psalms 7.
Sex is a form of intimacy.
Sex is both physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual acts. The definition is sex is a mental, emotional, and spiritual act expressed through a physical act of intercourse.
The purpose is to bring about emotional intimacy through physical intimacy and to make babies.
We delved into the details of how guys are differently functioning than girls and then how we both are alike.
Guy and girl friendships...
Get this: Guys 1st impression of a girl is always him checking her out. Girls first impression instantly is we evaluate if the guy has potential (husband/father?)
How can we be good friends?
Girls:
We are married before we say 'hello' so this means we MUST be clear withour behavior and words!!!
Guys:
Notice the physical. So this means ladies, that you need to dress modestly. I never had this really hit me until I heard a story from Lindsey. She said there's a married couple in the church she confides with. She has plainly asked the man if he still has trouble with wandering eyes in church that distract him from worship. He said that honestly he's a man and yes sometimes when good looking women raise their hands to praise God and shows their stomach or wear tight clothes or little amounts of clothes, it's distracting and he actually has to go to the back so that he can focus. This made me understand the importance. I mean the whole idea of love to begin with is helping value others. If I know that something isn't helping a marriage like the way I dress, perhaps I will think twice about what I will wear. That's respecting and loving others and helping them grow closer to God.
Lastly, girls, I've learned this too, need to have girls as their closest friends. Guys, you need to have guys as your closest friends. Think about it.
Time=Relationship. SO, time alone tellers a guy or girs that you like her/him. So be cautious.
We drew this circle in class with 3 rings. The very middle is about 2-4 people who are your very closest friends. Those need to be girls for girls and vice versa. The reason? Think about when you get married and your 4 closest friends are men? What does that show or do to your husband?
Then the 2nd group is 5-10 sorta close friends. Then depending on your personality you then have the 'rest.' But, those 2-4 need to be the same sex.
Now, what is DATING: Romantic relationship between a guy and girl with a certain level of commitment.
Culture plays a huge part in this. Now in our Christian Culture, this is what "equally yoked" should be for a good foundation or a sub culture. Clear principles need to be expressed.
In India, some couples are put together by their parents who put ads in the newspaper to basically sell their daughters.
In Cape Town, within the townships, the pastor's very involved. He is to help/guide the relationship into marriage. I guess this even is to the extent of choosing how the wedding will be, where when and counseling etc.
In American Christian Culture, it's this new idea of not even dating. You just expect the person you're to marry. You don't meet other and don't really try out relationships. This keeps us 'pure' right? :)
So which one is the right way of dating?
Genesis 25:1, 24:1 Abraham too a wife and married her.
What can we take good from the scripture?
-listen to God, what God has already spoken
-you have a choice
-you have to be a follower of the same faith
-you have outside involvement: family
DO NOT MARRY POTENTIAL! You can't 'change' a person
3 principles I learned to follow.
1. Who they are: Christian Character?
2. Outside involvement: Family. Pastor. Close Friends. They wil help you choose, they will help you stay accountable in regards to your sexually boundaries to help you and also great input.
3. Physical Attraction: You MUST be attracted!
We learned that it is completely normal to feel doubts.
Gotta get going, will write more later. If you have questions, please feel free at anytime to ask. It's a learning process...journey!